Live Like You Were Dying

Well, it's a little daunting, I must admit, to try to fit two busy days worth of thoughts into one blog post. I finished my last day shadowing Toni yesterday, and I'm so glad that I had the experience I did. Not only did I add many new words and medications to my vocabulary, but I was able to tie in things I'm learning in the classroom at the moment to real-life practice. A patient came in with I believe sarcoma on one of her lumbar vertebrae, and Dr. Adkins allowed me to look at her PET scan and explained (albeit crudely) how to make sense of what was going on. First of all, I knew where lumbar vertebrae are in the body from class and knew the anatomical features of that kind of vertebrae that Dr. Adkins pointed out. I also understood why she was feeling pain in the outside (or lateral side) of her leg, because there are nerves that extend from that vertebrae to that location that were being pinched because of the growing cancer tumor there. It was a cool thing.

This day, though, was way more difficult than my first day. I was in the room twice when Dr. Adkins had to tell two patients that their cancer had metastasized (spread) and that all they can do now is try to prevent it from spreading as quickly. He was very gentle and honest with them that this means that the cancer will eventually win, and they will die from it. I cried both times. One was a young mother of two children and the other a grandfather very involved in the life of his young granddaughter. I wasn't sure the young mother was hit with the doctor's words, because she had little reaction. After he the doctor let the room and only nurses let, however, she started crying, and it was heartbreaking. It was at that moment that I realized that the nurse is really the one there to care for the patient's emotional needs.

Once both patients realized the gravity of the doctor's words, they both asked what they were to do next. Toni says basically the same thing every time. She tells them to do the things they've always wanted to do. Say the things you've always wanted to say to the people you love. Live your life to the fullest. None of us really do this, but we all should.

I think being a nurse is going to remind me everyday of how precious life really is.