Tomorrow is my last day of freedom!! Friday will be the first day of my last semester of nursing school. I cannot wait to be finished! I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I am learning so much and getting such great clinical/life experiences, but on the other hand, it is such an emotionally draining experience.

I was going to say it has been the most emotionally draining experience of my life, but I'm not sure it has been. I lived in Vienna, Austria for 4 months. I have put myself out there on stage in front of people who are judging me on the thing I have dedicated my life to pursuing. All I know is that during these times, I have needed supportive people in my life more than anything. I went out to dinner tonight at Maggiano's (mmmm) with four of the most supportive/encouraging/inspiring women tonight from my program, and I'm thankful that they have been there for me. As always, my family, friends, and boyfriend have made these times easier as well :) I love you guys.

Obviously, I should be getting ready for bed right now to get my body used to going to sleep before 2 AM. My body is going to hate me when I wake it up at 6:30 AM Friday...anyway, I was thinking about this upcoming semester. I'm taking 22 credit hours. That number frightens me...a lot. And then I was thinking about how some of us (I know especially Matt and I) get so caught up in getting good grades. I think it all boils down to a fear of not being "good enough" or that others will think we are stupid. How stupid is that? I'm just going to try to learn as much as I possibly can this semester and reflect on the experience as much as possible. I don't need to prove my abilities to anyone. I feel like so many things happen all at once, and I have no time to process it all. Maybe this is the nature of a one year program. My mind is going a mile a minute, and I can't keep up to make sense of everything. Please tell me if that makes sense to you, because it would be nice to know I'm not the only one...haha.

I'm sending in my application to Vanderbilt University Medical Center's Nurse Residency program tomorrow. I want this so badly. They have an awesome reputation and orientation program for graduate nurses. I'm trying to tell myself I that it is no longer in my control after I send everything in, and there is no use worrying about whether or not I get an interview. Hopefully school, work, and choir will keep me busy enough to keep my mind off of that.

I can't believe I'm already deciding what to do next all over again. This will be the first time I am seriously job hunting. It's a little nerve wrecking. I have decided that I am going to take the plunge and only look for jobs in Nashville. I really want to be close to Matt. After 5 years of long distance, I think we have put in our time! I think we'll both be happiest that way.

By the way, I just watched Sicko tonight, and I really want to move to France now.